TerRie LynN: FAITH TREE

I was at a Ladies Retreat this past fall (September 2010). It was a great weekend, however it was also a difficult weekend! God had me right where He wanted me and I had no where to run off to and nothing else to do but listen. He confronted me on so many issues that I had been avoiding for a long time... hard questions that He had been asking and I had been avoiding giving answers to. I am not sure how much He paid the speaker that weekend but it was like she was hired by God just to get me past the "pussy-footing-around" thing that I had been doing for so long. For weeks leading up to the retreat God brought to the forefront so many things and it was like He was saying... you know that you and I are going to have a showdown at that retreat so get ready! I almost backed out of the retreat just to avoid dealing with my "stuff".

The questions that I needed to answer either came from the speaker directly or from the Holy Spirit during the sessions while I was taking notes... talking to people after the retreat sometimes I wonder if we were at the same place at the same time. I will say "remember" and they look kinda confused. The questions I was being asked that weekend were... Are you willing to surrender to my way?...Are you really passionate?... Do I really trust God?... Am I really ready to trust God with it?... Do I believe God is fully adequate for everything I need?... Am I willing to take the risk and sacrifice God is requiring of me?... Am I really Hungry for God's Spirit and Presence in my life?... Do I really want God to pour out fuel onto my fire?... Am I willing to be flexible enough to do it God's way?... ALL of these QUESTIONS came before the end of the first night and I had a choice to make... ANSWER the questions that God was asking or keep avoiding them. If I avoided them I knew that it would basically be rebellion and disobedience. So I needed to examine the questions and really assess the risk involved both directions... each question basically boiled down to two options- I could choose to do it my way or I could choose to rely on God and do it His way. By the end of that evening I knew that the risk of disobedience and living in sin (which really boils down rebelling against God) was way more than I was willing to gamble and the benefits and blessings of following Him and choosing to trust Him completely were definitely where I wanted to be. I had to spend time repenting for avoiding doing what God had asked of me for years already. The rest of the weekend went a lot smoother... I felt led to read through James several times.

The final day of the retreat God gave me a vision of a tree to declare His works to all that visit our home. It was a tree with roots and branches and leaves. The roots were Representative of time in prayer and in the scriptures. Without a root system a tree will topple over and die. It is important to spend time with God and just as the roots of tree's go down deep to find water and nourishment, I too have to spend time with God in prayer and searching the scriptures... without this root system, I too will topple over and die. The leaves on the tree represent answers to prayer and things that God has done. each leaf has writing on it to tell of a specific answer to prayer or movement of God. I also saw fruit to represent larger life events that are fruit produced by abiding in the vine.

Well I came home and I knew I needed to paint this tree in our stairwell. I started a couple of months later. Before I could finish the branches or add many leaves I ended up with an upper back injury which has left me unable to work on the tree for more than a couple of minutes at a time since most of the work involves raising my arms. So it stands, half finished, a reminder that I really have not given everything over yet and there are still some things that I keep in my own hands (a real hero...Eh?). I am looking forward to when it is finally completed and all that is left is to fill it in with leaves as we see God work more and more.